Jul 28

To be a dad or not to be a dad

So this week I found out what it truly means to be a step father.

I will never be the same level of superhero that Griffin’s father is in his eyes.
His Dad is invoked in every instance of strife as his saviour, his panacea for all his ailments and the bringer of all things status related to Griffin’s life.

I cannot ask him to call me dad because he already has that moniker firmly attached to his real father.

So what do I do?

I am thinking that it is perhaps time to get him to stop calling me “Baz” or “Barry”, even though those are my names, I think he needs to have a more fatherly moniker to attach to me that will help him bond a little more on a parental level while not attacking the position his father holds in his eyes.

So I think he needs to call me Pop or Pa or Da, just not Dad, and not Baz.


Maybe this will help him connect me in his mind as a parental figure while allowing him to maintain that connection to his father with no internal conflicts for his young mind to have try to resolve.


It’s not easy being a family man.

I gotta say though, when he is treating me like his dad, when he is playing with me, the way his face lights up when I get home from work, the love and cuddle I get in the mornings, the bed time stories, the tall tales about school days the the the… sheesh I could go on forever… ALL of this makes this one small strife seem so trivial, so petty even.

I am his Dad, Pa, Pop or Da, whichever way you slice it, he knows it, I love it, I love him. That makes this all so much easier.

Thank my lucky stars my wife is so unbelievably beautiful and warm and loving and as in love with me as I am with her.


THAT makes everything easy.

I love my wife, I love my family, man o man am I a lucky man!


  1. chanti

    Dude that is so well put – you are indeed very lucky… My experience as stepmother is very different for many reasons.

  2. Lee

    Dude, when I saw those pics of you and Griff with his new bike, my heart swelled. You are an inspiration to all men.

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